Before you get started, catch up by reading part 1, part 2, and part 3.

2000

Grandma entered the new millennium and turned seventy years old in the same year that the DVD player, USB flash drive, GPS, Bluetooth, and camera phones were invented. In exciting space news, the first crew of humans arrived at the International Space Station.

After her husband Jack died, Grandma became more involved in her church where she played the handbells and took piano lessons. At her funeral, her pastor and friend Chester spoke about Grandma’s piano lessons becoming less and less about playing the piano. 

Grandma’s piano teacher was Chester’s wife, Margaret. Chester joked that over time he heard less and less piano during their lessons and more laughter. Their lessons were full of catching up, listening, laughing, and sharing about their lives. 

Chester spoke about the importance of friendship at Grandma’s funeral. He advised us to look for friends like that. He noted how important it is to find friends who you can talk to about anything and everything. He said these friendships are very important in life, and that’s when I started to tear up.

Women were still making aviation history in 2000, when Jennifer Murray became the first woman to fly solo around the world in a helicopter. She traveled 36,000 miles in 97 days!

2001

My childhood couldn’t be more different from my grandma’s. When Grandma turned 71, I was only 6 years old starting my first year at Kindergarten. I couldn’t wait to ride the bus with my older sibling. Never once did I wonder if I would go to school. It was guaranteed. Never once did I move, change schools, or live with anyone other than my parents. I believe this is true for all of her grandchildren and great grandchildren, which is a vast improvement from my Grandma’s early childhood.

When she was living on a tobacco farm with random relatives, I was in my own room playing dollhouse listening to The Beatles on my Hello Kitty boombox. While her parents were rationing food in the Great Depression, my parents got a membership to Costco.

The only early memory I have of spending time alone with my grandma is going to her house to create a cement garden stepping stone. I pressed my little hand and little foot into the wet cement and added jewels around the edge. She spelled my name by carving it into the bottom and I remember feeling so proud of that stone. I remember looking at my other cousin and sibling’s stones and thinking mine was the best.

But the best part of visiting Grandma’s house is that she kept a bowl of Hershey kisses on nearly every table in the house, and she never said anything about a limit to how many I could eat.

Every year, Grandma looked forward to the annual Mother’s Day picnic in the park. This was a long standing tradition that continued mostly every year until she died.

2002

Grandma briefly remarried sometime in her 70s. I remember being absolutely OUTRAGED that I was not chosen to walk down the aisle as a flower girl. My resume was flawless. I never had to be bribed, coerced, or chased to participate. I would wear whatever dress the bride picked out, no complaints. I counted my steps and never ran out of flowers too early. I smiled at the guests who “awww”ed at me and I never farted when I was on the aisle, not once. 

Did my several years of experience perfectly placing flowers spread apart down the aisle mean nothing to her?! Was I no longer cute enough?!

My mom patiently explained that Grandma decided to have no bridesmaids, no flower girls, no special roles. 

What kind of dumb wedding is this? I thought.

I remember sitting in the front pew with my arms crossed refusing to have a lovely time thinking how boring the ceremony was without a beautiful flower girl walking down the aisle. To add insult to injury, my dad told me I was too old to be the flower girl anyway. I was not talking to him that day. 

Grandma and her new husband bought an RV and after the wedding, their plan was to drive across the country and see everything! His health took a fast decline, which was not what she signed up for…so she divorced him, but for some reason kept his name. Too much paperwork to change it back, I suppose.

It’s possible that their marriage would have lasted if they had followed the traditional rules of having a flower girl in the ceremony. At least that’s what my eight year old self thought at the time.

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2004

Facebook was invented, not that Grandma ever bothered to make a profile.

2005

When Grandma was ten, she was living through the fear of atomic bombs being dropped at any moment during WWII. When I was ten, I was in the backyard with my siblings and my dad shooting hoops.

My Grandma’s happiest childhood memory is getting one present at Christmas and being chosen as the one to pass out presents.

My happiest memories from childhood include boogie boarding in the ocean with all my cousins and siblings or the Christmas year we all got bicycles and went for a ride around the neighborhood. Or maybe riding roller coasters or tubing behind our boat holding on for dear life and laughing so hard that my grip slipped and I’d launch into the water.

I remember my Grandma coming on the annual Outer Banks beach vacation, standing with her feet in the ocean, watching all us grandkids boogie board. Clapping if we caught a really good wave.

2006

Nintendo released the Wii when my Grandma was 76 years old.

My mom bought us a Wii for Christmas that year.

I remember Grandma coming over in the morning after we opened presents.

I challenged her to a game of Wii bowling.

She kicked my ass.

She just chuckled while all the Grandkids yelled, “Why are you so good at this?!”

She threw a strike nearly every time.

2007

The first iPhone was released, which Grandma did learn to use and even became dependent on it like the rest of us.

Nancy Pelosi becomes the first female speaker of the House. Keep in mind that women only gained the right to vote ten years before my Grandma was born.

2008

In 2008, Alaskan Governor, Sarah Palin, becomes the first woman to run for vice president on the Republican ticket.

2009

Virginia didn’t ban smoking indoors until Grandma was 79. The first image of the rings of any planet (Saturn) was taken.

2010

At eighty years old, world news included Apple releasing the first iPad, Instagram was created, and Obama removed the last combat troops from Iraq. In exciting space news, NASA announced that the Moon’s northern pole contains millions of tons of water ice.

Even tough Grandma was separated from her brother, Bill, for many years during childhood in the Great Depression (which you can read about in part one), they did eventually connect as adults.

After Bill’s wife died, he started calling Grandma every Sunday.

He talked to her about losing his wife, who was a classic hoarder, and all the stuff he needed to go through.

Before Bill’s wife died, she told him, “Don’t throw away any book or magazine before looking through every single page!”

Her stacks of books and magazines stacked towered over Bill’s head. He dutifully looked through every single page before throwing them out. It turned out that his wife had been stashing cash in the pages of her books and magazines for years!

Grandma joked that she just needed a recording of her saying, “Oh! … Hmmm … Wow! … Okay, we’ll talk next week.”

She would chuckle because she could never get many words in since he talked so fast. 

2014

Grandma was 84 when I was a senior in high school. The pressure of college was on.

Not just to go to college but to go to a good college. Community college was not considered good. The Ivy league wasn’t in reach, but most of my classmates applied to the University of Virginia and Virginia Tech. Good colleges. 

Unlike my Grandma, I did not want to go to college. 

My dad died from cancer less than a year before I was supposed to be applying and without his guidance, I was leaning toward becoming an AuPair in Australia or Italy. I researched cacao farms in Hawaii I could work on through the World Wide Organic Farming program. I wanted to travel the world on my mom’s dime. 

I played sports my whole life, never had a job as a kid besides the occasional babysitting that I used to buy candy, go to the movies, and gas for my car. I remember being so mad at my mom when she told me, “If I’m paying, you’re going to college.” 

It was a dramatic door slamming you’re ruining my life kind of moment.

Eventually I agreed to go to some stupid college.

“Fine, but I’m not going to school in Virginia,” I declared, probably while stamping my foot down like a real adult does when they want something. 

“Virginia has the finest education in all of the United States,” my dad used to say all the time. He made a rule that all his kids had to go to a Virginia school, probably because in-state tuition was cheaper. 

With him gone, my exhausted mom just said, “I don’t care. Go wherever you want.”

So we toured a college in the North Carolina mountains, a place that felt very, very far away from Virginia. A whole five hours. This is when I mistakenly thought I was striking out on my own! And going to a place no family member went before! I thought I was discovering new land, but of course my Grandma spent years camping in those mountains (read The Famous Bear Story here).

At the time, I didn’t think how much of a privilege it was to go to college, especially as a woman. At the time, I didn’t know that my Grandma wanted to go but her parents told her no. 

The statistics in 2014 showed that women made up almost 56% of the college population, compared to in 1948 when my Grandma wanted to go to college, women constituted approximately 30% of college students.

2017

Same sex marriage became legal in all 50 U.S. states when Grandma was 87 years old.

Grandma attended her first same-sex wedding that year for her grandchild, who was named after her. When Connie told Grandma they would marry a woman, everyone was unsure how she might react.

Grandma grew up in post Civil War times, and went to a Southern Baptist church for 87 years. Some people in the family doubted if she would have an open mind. 

But Grandma’s response was unique.

She compared gay marriage to wearing jeans on an airplane.

The first time she saw someone get off an airplane in jeans she was horrified. 

“It’s just not right,” she said, shaking her head. 

She continued,  “But now, people wear jeans on airplanes all the time. People even wear jeans to church, and their worship is just as good. So times change,” Grandma said. 

This was her way of saying that there’s nothing wrong with gay marriage.

2019

Sometime in her 80’s, Grandma took her last flight on a small plane. She did not pilot the plane, but rode along. No one is quite sure when she last piloted a plane herself.

The world’s first fully electric aircraft was invented when Grandma was 79 as well as the U.S. federal smoking age was raised to 21 years old.

2020

The first case of Covid-19 was reported in the U.S. launching us into a year of stay at home orders, social distancing and mask mandates.

COVID was the final straw that shut down Grandma’s beloved church. The congregation was aging, the demographic of the area changed so much and the church didn’t attract younger people to continue funding.

This was a huge moment in Grandma’s life. She attended that same church for over 70 years. She played the handbells, took piano lessons, served on the Teller Committee and the Fellowship Committee. She managed decorations and food for receptions as well handled donations. Sunday school class was her core group of friends for a majority of her life.

During COVID, Grandma started watching First Baptist church on TV due to the stay at home orders. After her beloved church shut down, she never attended church in person again.

By the end of 2020, the unemployment rate jumped to 14.7% with 33 million people without a job, which was 17 million more unemployed people than the Great Depression. 

At 90 years old, Grandma lived to see the first woman, Kamala Harris, elected vice president. An impeachment trial began for President Trump, and for the first time since the Great Recession, women outnumber men in the American workforce, with women holding 50.04% of all jobs.

2022

Grandma stopped driving at 93 years old. She was pissed. I don’t blame her. In this country, driving = independence. It was a difficult transition for her to give up driving due to her eye sight.

2024

Just a few days shy of her 94th birthday, Grandma was moved by her daughters into assisted living. This was a tough transition for everyone. Grandma took great pride in living independently but needed more medical support.

Grandma suffered a lot of health complications at the end of her life. But her spirit remained strong. She wasn’t quite ready to die. Her nurses described her as a “strong woman” and a “fighter.”

She would take a turn for the worse with her health, the nurses would explain that she only had a few hours or days left to live, then boom. She’d bounce back. Grandma did this dance for a few months. Grandma really wanted to make it to Christmas, and she did.

Throughout her life, Grandma loved to shop for Christmas. She loved picking out the perfect present for everyone. The last Christmas of her life she spent hours wrapping presents for every single one of her nurses in assisted living.

2025

Grandma turned 94 with her daughters, grandkids, and great grandkids surrounding her.

Grandma passed away on February 5, 2025 with all four of her daughters sitting around her bed. The image of this moment brings tears to my eyes. It is, I think, what most parents would envision as a good death. Being surrounded by loving daughters, care, and family does shine a small light in the bleak hospital death.

My mom and aunts gave Grandma heroic end of life care. They held Zoom calls, they made spreadsheets, Google docs, and sign up sheets to coordinate 24/7 care. They traded turns but someone was always there. It was difficult for everyone, as end of life care tends to be, but they taught us how to stick together until the end.

Grandma left a loving family behind, and is survived by her 4 daughters, 11 grandchildren and 21 great-grandchildren. 

Grandma also left 8.2 billion people on the earth. In her lifetime, the world gained more than 6 billion inhabitants. Since 2020, seven million people died of COVID.

Grandma lived through 16 different Presidents and 22 elections.

Throughout her life, 44 new National Parks were created.

According to Women in Aviation, the number of female pilots in 2024 was 91,694. This makes up about 10% of the pilot population with over 848,000 pilots in total. 55,000 women were currently studying to earn their pilot’s license. 

When Grandma earned her pilot’s license in 1932, there were roughly 700-800 women with their pilot’s license.

Grandma was born into a world without a single satellite in the sky. When she died, over 28,300 satellites now orbit Earth. 

She died knowing how to use a smartphone and send emojis. Emailing and texting was a daily occurrence, reminding us that we’re never too old to learn something new. 

She sent all four daughters to college, was a lifelong active member of the Baptist church, and found joy in gardening flowers. At her funeral, my aunts passed out forget me nots seeds and I planted them the other day. Believe it or not, this is the first time I’ve ever planted something from seed in my adult life.

So in Grandma’s absence, I am learning something new. Because above all Grandma was a determined woman who valued learning. She was not given the traditional college opportunity, but that didn’t stop her from finding other ways to gain knowledge.

But the most important thing I learned from Grandma is that there is no limit to how many Hershey Kisses, cookies, or chocolate cake you can eat in a day.

We are grateful to have learned so much from such a strong matriarch. Thank you for following along and for reading.

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